Kinky co-worker

Allow me to set the scene for you: We have just returned from an extremely tedious presentation by one of our vendors. Things haven't gone well; the "state of the art" application they were demonstrating crashed a couple of times, and the vendor's account manager didn't even attempt to pretend that he had so much as glimmer of a clue of what he was talking about. To top it all off, he also stumbled for minutes to answer even the simplest of questions. Our collective, albeit silent, Pull your finger out already hung in the room like thick London fog in an Agatha Christie novel and didn't exactly improve the general atmosphere of the event.

After the demo from hell, we're having a quick debrief, mainly to let off a bit of steam. Now, to fully appreciate the significance of what followed, you must understand that the tech expert (let's call her Billie) who was with us is, in defiance of all "tech geek" clichés, quite probably one of the cutest babes in the entire Southern hemisphere. Billie is the kind of always-happy, kind, and simply beautiful girl that incites very unprofessional thoughts in even the most respectable man (and probably a couple of women).

So we're all sharing our not so kind views on both the "state of the art" product we were unfortunate enough to be bored with, and the bumbling dork who presented it. And without warning, Billie announces (and I quote): "Seriously, guys; I soooo wanted to fire a rocket up his ass!".

Thank you, Billie; that moment, and the mental image that's still popping up, almost made it all worth it.

Happy Dead Jesus Day

So, what are you all up to this long weekend?

This year, I have decided to get into the traditional spirit of this holiday; starting today with hanging out at The Cross, and then resurrecting myself on Sunday :-)

Have a good long weekend, and may your Easter Egg Hunt be as much fun as mine was (gotta love an office manager who likes impersonating the Easter bunny).

Holy Switch

See the light? Uhm, I'd rather not


Found here

Come here, fishy fishy

We've all experienced, or at least heard of, beer goggles, but this is ridiculous.




The only time I ever think about sealife and, ahem, other stuff at the same time is when I go for Fish & Chips at this joint.

Shamelessly swiped from FailBlog

Earth Hour

Yes, we're once again asked to "save the world" by participating in an entirely pointless exercise, devised by the very organizations whose existence depends on our belief that doomsday is just around the corner.

So we're supposed to turn off all our lights for an hour, starting at 8:30 pm. Never mind the fact that most people's lights are off every day from dawn to dusk; apparently it's that one hour after dark that'll make the difference. Please also ignore the fact that of all the electrical appliances, lighting probably accounts for the smallest fraction of your average household's electricity use. Furthermore, it'll of course be mostly the energy efficient lamps that will actually be turned off, the lamps of those environmentally conscious people who dumped the common light bulb a long time ago. This will further minimize the already questionable effect of the event.

So maybe it's not about actually reducing energy consumption, maybe it's all about raising awareness about the dire straits the environment is in. However, I'm not aware of any shortness of awareness; with environmental fundamentalists shoving their "Your very existence is destroying the planet; we shall not rest until we control all aspects of people's life, all in the name of nature" message down everyone's throat on a daily basis; and the Government spreading the same message to support the introduction of new taxes and increases to existing rates under the guise of the green hype.

Then, there's the hypocrisy. Oh boy, I don't even know where to start. First of all, organizers must, of course, promote the event. So media conferences are held, interviews arranged, reports on the devastating effects of global warming commissioned. It's probably a safe bet to say that the activities around Earth Hour create "carbon footprint" that outweighs the miniscule reduction in energy usage (if such a reduction even occurs) a couple of times over.

The media aren't exactly adding to the credibility of the event either. No effort, and therefore no energy expenditure) is to be spared to give this honorable project the coverage it deserves. And there's nothing but praise for this wonderful cause on all programs; even the world's most irritating weatherman urges us to "turn off the lights and other non-essential electrical appliances (non-essential? Would that be the gear I usually keep running for no other reason than to send more money than necessary to the lovely folks at the power company?). Yet there's nothing in the TV guide that would suggest that any of the stations will stop broadcasting; as we sit in the dark, we still get to enjoy a choice of football, pommy crime drama, a freak penguin, Johnny gaying up the Caribbean, or young Jack Nicholson joining the Village People Navy.

And of course we mustn't forget the selfless who are so proud to "do the responsible thing"; praised be those who sit in the dark while watching their energy-hungry plasma TV. Others might really get in the spirit and even drive to one of the many Earth Hour activities.

I have no doubt that in tomorrow's news, there will be an abundance of praise for those who seemingly saved the world by participating in a stunt that makes no difference whatsoever. Personally, I was so eager to do my part that I held my own Earth Hour from early morning until just before 6 pm, with no lights or TV on for the entire time. Where's my medal?

Change at the White House

Can't you just hear Michelle: Oh YES, YESS, we can!!

Holy ... WHAT??

For a heavenly snooze ...



Be that as it may; getting up on Monday morning is still hell.

"The Sopranos Down Under" is not over yet

Yesterday's permanent retirement of "the head of one of Sydney's most powerful drug dealing crime syndicates" seems to indicate that the local crime gangs are alive and well. While this most recent shooting has striking similarities to events of past decades, things are not quite as they used to be.

In the past, even the bad guys answered to names like Carl, Bob, or Terry. Perhaps as a sign of the times, and in line with the situation overseas (yep, globalization affects crime, too), the most violent events are more often than not connected with names like Abdul Qadier Darwiche, and appropriately investigated by units like The Middle Eastern Crime Squad. One can not help but wonder if perhaps, despite the persistent denial by left wing do-gooders, crime and violence are indeed more prevalent in some ethnic communities than in others, and if the much praised multi cultural society has indeed a mostly positive effect on our daily lives.

Still, I reckon all we can do is to focus on the positive aspects: One truly despicable scumbag is off the street for good; and we're not running out of material for more seasons of Underbelly just yet.

The Footy's Back

That's right; after endless months of bloody cricket and boooring golf clogging perfectly good TV air time, we're only minutes away from the start of round 1 of NRL 2009. And seeing that the off-field soap operas seem to be off to a good start even before the first ball has been kicked^*, we might well be in for all round exciting and enjoyable season.

^* (For overseas readers, or locals who spent the last week under a rock: A high profile player has volunteered to uphold the tradition of alcohol-supported bad behavior and to follow the examples of many others to bring himself in a situation that leads to a charge of sexual assault. Both scenarios are not entirely unheard of in rugby league, but one guy engaging in both of them in one night, at his club's season launch celebration one week before kick-off, is quite an achievement).

Anyway, I'm off to the lounge now (via fridge; to check if the cold ones are, well, cold enough yet), to watch the Storm beat the Dragons. And whatever you might have to say, please ask yourself just one question: Can it wait until half time?

New Office

Well, my backup – office anyway. Wi-Fi coverage at work has been extended to cover most outdoor areas, including the vast lawns between the office buildings. So whenever the sterile air-conditioned blandness of my usual crime scene domain gets too sticky, this shall be my refuge.