Dodging the bullet

And people say places like the local public library are boring. There I am, browsing the DVD shelf; the elderly librarian is busy sorting returned items; and the second member of staff, a young, not entirely unpretty girl, is tapping away on her computer.

Cue middle-aged creepy guy, messed up hair, tracky dacks, the full program. He starts playing around with the catalog terminal, then directs his attention to the service desk:

Creepy guy: Hi

Hot library chick: Hi how are you? (she seems to know him)

Creepy guy: Good thanks. How have you been?

Hot library chick: Alright, thanks, it's been a quiet day.

Creepy guy: What do you do once you're finished here?

Hot library chick: Oh just spending time with hubby and the kids

Creepy guy: Ahh … sounds … nice
(pause)
Creepy guy: I … was going to ask you out. A movie or something like that.

Hot library chick: Ohh … right … sorry

Creepy guy (wanders off)

Older librarian lady gives Hot library chick the what was that all about? look

Hot library chick: WHAT? One day I will have a husbands and kids...


Nice one, baby. I must admit I find her just a little bit hotter now, after learning that she's a quick thinker. Perhaps I should have a go myself, just to find out what she'd come up with to shoot me down ...

Kinky co-worker

Allow me to set the scene for you: We have just returned from an extremely tedious presentation by one of our vendors. Things haven't gone well; the "state of the art" application they were demonstrating crashed a couple of times, and the vendor's account manager didn't even attempt to pretend that he had so much as glimmer of a clue of what he was talking about. To top it all off, he also stumbled for minutes to answer even the simplest of questions. Our collective, albeit silent, Pull your finger out already hung in the room like thick London fog in an Agatha Christie novel and didn't exactly improve the general atmosphere of the event.

After the demo from hell, we're having a quick debrief, mainly to let off a bit of steam. Now, to fully appreciate the significance of what followed, you must understand that the tech expert (let's call her Billie) who was with us is, in defiance of all "tech geek" clichés, quite probably one of the cutest babes in the entire Southern hemisphere. Billie is the kind of always-happy, kind, and simply beautiful girl that incites very unprofessional thoughts in even the most respectable man (and probably a couple of women).

So we're all sharing our not so kind views on both the "state of the art" product we were unfortunate enough to be bored with, and the bumbling dork who presented it. And without warning, Billie announces (and I quote): "Seriously, guys; I soooo wanted to fire a rocket up his ass!".

Thank you, Billie; that moment, and the mental image that's still popping up, almost made it all worth it.